Opinion: Everything I know about Coastside politics I learned from Half Moon Bay High

NOTE: This opinion piece by Barry Parr appeared in Wednesday’s Review. You can read the full story on the Review’s site.

They say real life is a lot like high school.

The current scuffle over the playing fields at Half Moon Bay High certainly has all the elements of high school: jocks vs. nerds, cliques, bullying, and lots of folks who haven’t done their homework.

To bring you up to date, the high school received a generous donation to refurbish its playing fields from an anonymous millionaire whose identity everyone knows. Of course, this generosity brought the community together in a single-minded sense of gratitude and good fellowship. Sort of like a vaguely worded bequest to a beloved beagle would be received by the heirs of the decedent.

The school district - the paint peeling on the groundbreaking sign at its decrepit middle school with no actual ground having been broken - set about gilding the high school’s fields. Literally next door to this undertaking, the neighbors petitioned the district to consider the quiet enjoyment of their homes in its renovations and to keep to the project it outlined in its Coastal Development Permit. When the district ignored them, they took their petition to the city, which had issued the permit. They’re still waiting for the city to call them back.

Now, everyone knows you don’t buy a house next to a rendering plant if you don’t like the stench of lard in the morning. And you don’t buy a house next to a high school football field if you want to hold chamber music recitals in your living room on Friday nights. But if you’re an American, and don’t have an Arab name, you do expect a little due process now and then.

Unfortunately, not everyone sees it this way.

Recently, I received a heavily forwarded e-mail. It included a message to sports boosters from the school’s athletic director, sent from his school e-mail account, saying: "Basically, two to three people, for totally selfish reasons, have decided to attack public school facilities. ... It is beyond me why their complaints are even being entertained, however, the scary part is, they are."

Now there’s a call to arms: Complaints are being entertained! Besides, we’ve got them outnumbered.

There are plenty of Coastsiders who patriotically protect their Second Amendment right to shoot your dog, or their Fifth Amendment right to pave a stream. But these folks are up in arms that the school’s neighbors dared to demand due process or to petition their government for redress of grievances.

The e-mail’s distribution list included many local luminaries, including a member of the school board who is known for being a reasonable person. Several folks, including the school board member, chimed in approvingly, characterizing the aggrieved neighbors as selfish for wanting their pleas to be heard. No one explained why he or she thought the neighbors’ interpretation of the district’s Coastal Development Permit was meritless. No one questioned the motives of the athletic director, the team parents or alumni sports boosters who now enjoy a brighter shade of green at their spectacles.

What do the neighbors want? I won’t bore or confuse you with the details of the dispute. We have bodies, such as the Half Moon Bay Planning Commission, whose members have volunteered their evenings to be bored and confused on our behalf. What the neighbors wanted was for someone in authority to review their complaints and suggestions and to make sure their powerful neighbor is obeying the law.

Who wouldn’t want that?